My Life as the First Daughter: Why First Daughters in Nigeria Suffer in Silence
I am the first daughter in a struggling family from Delta State. I carry my parents' hopes, my siblings' school fees, and my own broken dreams to become a baker, all alone.
I am Endurance, a girl from Delta State. I am the first daughter of my family. If you are also a first daughter in Nigeria, you will understand my story very well.
Who is a First Daughter in Nigeria?
A first daughter in Nigeria is not just a daughter. She is a second mother. From the age of 8, I started cooking, cleaning, washing plates, and carrying my younger siblings on my back. While other children were playing, I was in the kitchen learning how to make soup. My mother would say, "Endurance, you are the first, you must be an example." I did not understand then, but now I understand.
My Morning as a First Daughter
Every morning, I wake up with many thoughts. I think about my mother in Delta who is struggling. I think about my younger siblings who are not in school because there is no money. My phone rings, and it is my mother saying, "Endurance, we need garri money." I have no job in Lagos, I am searching every day under the sun, but I cannot say I have no money. Because I am the first daughter, I must find a way.
Sometimes I trek from morning till night looking for job. My only good clothes is what I iron every day. I come back with no job, but my siblings are still calling, "Sister, when are you sending money for my school?"
The Pain Nobody Sees
This is the pain people don't see. As a first daughter, you cannot cry. If you cry, who will be strong for the family? You cannot say "I am tired." If you say you are tired, they will say you are lazy.
I have a dream. My dream is to become a baker. I love baking. I imagine myself making cakes, making bread, making buns and people buying from me. But I have to hide my dream because my family needs food first, not my dream. I worked for years for my uncle and left with nothing. I am starting fresh, but the burden of being first daughter is still on my shoulder.
What I Wish People Knew
I wish people knew that first daughters are also children. We are also tired. We also want someone to take care of us. We also have dreams that we keep inside because we must put family first. We need love, we need help, we need someone to say, "How are you really doing?"
We are not superwomen. We are just girls who were forced to become women too early.
To Every First Daughter Reading This
If you are a first daughter reading this on Google, I want to tell you, you are not alone. I am here in Lagos, searching for a job, carrying the same burden. I understand the sleepless nights, the calls from home, the guilt when you cannot provide.
Please don't give up on your own dreams. I still want to be a baker, even while I am struggling. Keep your dream small inside your heart, one day you will bake your own cake.
The pain nobody seems
We will make it. From one first daughter to another, we will make it